My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
