Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Alive.
So much puke
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
