I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
