dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
