Me. At least after what I've been through.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no, he came in my armpit
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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