you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
