You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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