Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
