I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
