were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize