your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
