she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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