he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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