im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
