I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
