The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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