I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
