brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
