It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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