You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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