My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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