OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
