high people should be assigned attendants
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
