Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
