It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
