I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
