I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
