Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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