In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
