I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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