I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
