it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
