I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
