I smell stomach acid.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
