Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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