I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
