I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
