where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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