so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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