In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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