Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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