hell yes lets make some ravioli
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
