I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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