At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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