Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize