TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
