"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
