Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
