dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
