she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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