I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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