remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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