I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
