just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize