How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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