Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
