we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
