when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
